A Countdown To Valentine
by Carbuncle
Summary: Yuffie has a Valentine's Day that she would rather forget, and Cloud has a surprise for Tifa.


FINAL FANTASY VII  
  
A SPECIAL SERIES FOR FEBRUARY! A SPECIAL SERIES FOR FEBRUARY!   
  
'A Countdown To Valentine'  
  
"So Yuffie, whaddya think?", smiled Cloud, as he lifted a heart-shaped card infront of the ninja's eyes.  
  
"Hmmm...", mumbled Yuffie. "It's a little bland, isn't it?"  
  
"You think so?", Cloud wondered. "It looks okay to me!"  
  
"Well, why you askin' my opinion then?!", she snapped. "Gawd! I hate Valentine's Day!"  
  
"Nobody hates Valentine's Day.", Cloud paused.  
  
"...No?! Well, that shows how much *you* know! I hate it! The whole holiday is a farce! It's just another worthless event of the year in which big time businesses can make a few gil outta gullible people! Like Christmas, or Easter!"  
  
Cloud was hanging out in Yuffie's hometown, Wutai. The whole party had tagged along too, but they were all spending the day at the Turtles Paradise. Cloud was preparing his Valentine's Day surprise for Tifa, and Yuffie was lending a hand.  
  
"Yuffie... you a cold man!", Cloud sighed.  
  
"Man?! Argh! You are such an asshole, Cloud Strife! I'm going to my room!", shrieked Yuffie.  
  
"I think someone is missing a little romance in their lives...", Cloud joked.  
  
"Wha?! You mean me?! Ha! Like I care?! Romance sucks!"  
  
Yuffie stormed off towards her bedroom, but on the way past the toilet, she noticed an envelope on the floor. She kneeled over to pick it up, and then opened it. There was a card inside.  
  
"Hmmm?", she read...  
  
"Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
For five hours now,  
I've been stuck in the loo."  
  
She stood with a gobsmacked expression on her face.  
  
"What?!", she exclaimed to herself.  
  
"Help!", yelled a muffled voice from inside the toilet. Yuffie tried the door, but it was locked.  
  
"Hey?! Who the hell is in there?!", she shouted.  
  
"Oh! Thank God! Help has arrived!", bloated the voice. "I just came in here to empty my bladder, then the next thing I know, the doorknob got stuck and I got trapped! Lemme outta here!"  
  
"Grrr! Stranger in my house!", Yuffie growled. "I'll kill you!"  
  
She kicked the door with all her might. It swung open, and inside was Chris, former SOLDIER.  
  
"Phew! Thanks! Another hour and I woulda...", Chris stuttered as he looked into Yuffie's eyes. Pink, fluffy love hearts appeared above his head. "Never before has an angel flew so low."  
  
"Okay, weirdo! I don't know who the hell you are, but you better get your sorry butt outta my house, right now!"  
  
"Be still my beating lungs, uh, heart!", smirked Chris.  
  
"Huh?!", gurgled Yuffie.  
  
Meanwhile, at the Turtles Paradise, Tifa, Aeris, Barrett, Cid and Vincent were all sitting at the bar, drinking some cold beer. Cloud entered and made his way towards Tifa.  
  
"Hi Cloud!", giggled Aeris. "Having fun?"  
  
"Tifa, um, could I speak with you for a second?", Cloud questioned.  
  
"Sure!", Tifa got off the barstool and wandered over to the corner with Cloud.  
  
"Happy Valentine's Day!", laughed Cloud as he handed her a card.  
  
"Wow! Uh, thanks!", she sniffed. "It's pretty bland, don't you think?"  
  
"...No.", replied Cloud.  
  
"Oh well, I didn't get you anything, but here's something even better than a dumb card!"  
  
Just then, Aeris looked over her shoulder to see Tifa give Cloud a quick kiss on the cheek. She went red with rage.  
  
"Why that little...", she coughed as she felt her heart beat five times faster.  
  
Suddenly, she collapsed onto the floor.  
  
"Oh my God! They killed Aeris!", screamed Cid.  
  
"You beasts!", yelled Vincent. "Heh! I've always wanted to say that!"  
  
"Me too!", laughed Cid. "Hey, I wonder where Yuffie is? I thought she was meeting us here?"  
  
But Yuffie had problems of her own. The young ninja opened her sleepy eyes. She looked around and discovered that she was in her bed. She gave a little yawn, and felt something brush against her leg. She looked across in horror, to see Chris, asleep next to her.  
  
"Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!", she screamed.  
  
"Mmmm?", groaned Chris as he woke up. "Ah, morning lover! Did I rock your world?"  
  
"Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!"  
  
"Yeah, you were pretty sweet too! We should do it again sometime. But until then, I must bid you farewell. I got stuff to do. Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day!", yawned Chris, getting out of bed.  
  
"Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!", Yuffie grumbled to herself. "Damn! Why did I ever agree to sleep with this jackass?! Man, I need a drink!"  
  
THE END__________  
  
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! 


End file.
